Sunday, March 28, 2010


I have no idea what to type today, but i feel the need to type. my grandfather is in the hospital and i am very lucky to not be right next to him. me and my mother have come to an agreement that i should no longer live there except for when necessary for school. Cross contamination is highly likely between me and my grandfather and it was really irresponsible for us not to think about that before we decided to go ahead and move me in. He seems to be out of the woods but i wish i could go see him. im not allowed to though. life is seeming less and less fair. I wish that everything would just be ok. I seem to go back to the old metaphor of my brain is just a bunch of people, each with their own task. one for love, one for jealousy, ect. Lately the one for love seems to stand up and get everyones attention before saying "attention attention: FML..... that is all."

Friday, March 12, 2010

ugg today sucked

Here is a list, in order of events of things that went wrong today.
First off, an ex boyfriend of mine(not my most recent but another one) went apeshit on me because he thinks im dating my friend gavin. *face palm* here are a few of the reasons that is so FAIL. 1)he my EX boyfriend, doesnt mean he needs to know every thing going on in my life, 2) im not dating my friend gavin, 3) doesnt matter if i did because im not getting back together with my last ex so why the hell does he care?

Second, I forgot a major homework asignment was due today until an hour before i had to leave for class, rushed work+bad mood already=extream bad mood

Third, In my frenzy to work on my homework i forgot to eat dinner, so i had to pack a plate for the ride over there and eat in a hurry.

Fourth, Trying to be a good CFer i took a soda and my meds with me. bad idea. the soda spilled onto my lap and made it look like i peed myself without enough time to go home and change.

Finally, apparently not only was an important homework assignment due it was also midterms!!! all i have to say is FML!!

ok that is all lol. -gabs

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

ok thats it

I need to stop feeling sorry for myself and stop pining over someone who obviously doesnt want me.
I need to stop falling in love with the wrong guys and start falling in love with myself. If I dont love myself how can i expect anyone to love me?
I dont know how im gonna do this other than treating my body as a temple, im going to start weeding out the bad food and start eating the good foods in life.
Im also going to start with my real photography again. I miss that so much and i need to take some "me" time.
For now i am swearing off of anyone who isnt me. Atleast til may 17th. then i shall reevaluate.
I dont know what im expecting from this but its change, and i might start doing something right.